Recovery for Sexual and Pornography Addicts

“I am so tired of hiding who I am.”

I hate feeling unworthy and ashamed.

I am constantly thinking about sex.

When I think about what I do to get “off,” I feel sick, dirty, and unlovable.

At 17, Ericka* is the Honors Society President, she is active in her comp sports league, and frequently volunteers with her church. Ericka feels a lot of pressure to make her parents proud. Money is tight since her Dad is between jobs, and home life is pretty stressful.

Ericka hears that selling private pics and videos of herself online is a way to get some easy cash. Once Ericka gets a taste of creating her own pornography, she’s hooked. If she’s not making sexy videos, she is watching How-To videos on TikTok and Instagram to increase her following and earn even more.

Online, she can be part of “another world” where she manipulates others through sex and is in control.

Ericka wants to make content all. the. time. Her grades are starting to sink. She’s avoiding her school friends, and now she is irritable and secretive around family. Things come to a screeching halt when a strange man online offers her $500 to make a sex video with him.

Ericka breaks down to her guidance counselor at this point, realizing she has let this sexual stuff get way further than she had intended.

She feels embarrassed about her sexual behavior and wants to stop completely.

Instead of feeling relief, Ericka becomes restless and irritable when she tries to spend time off her phone. Additionally, she is learning that there could be legal consequences for distributing pornography of a minor.

She desperately wishes she could rewind the clock to a time when she wasn’t making sexual content. Life now feels depressing and empty.

I help many young women like Ericka, and I can help you, too.

Living a double life…

Bryan* and Shannon* are in their twenties and have been married for six months. Unbeknownst to Shannon, Bryan has been secretly viewing online pornography daily since he was nine years old.

It’s a guy thing. What is the harm with enjoying sexual expression?

Bryan notices his sexual relationship with Shannon isn’t enough to satisfy him.

He’s having a lot of trouble getting hard enough for intercourse. Bryan blames Shannon for not being adventurous enough to keep him sexually satisfied.

Why can’t she just be carefree and kinky like the girls in the videos online?

Shannon is questioning whether Bryan can love her, and she just found some charges on his credit card for “virtual escort services.” Shannon feels both heartbroken and enraged.

Both Shannon and Bryan are thinking, “This is NOT what I signed up for when I got married!”

Can talking to a therapist save our relationship?

I help couples like Shannon and Bryan every day.

Both Bryan’s life addicted to online pornography and Shannon’s experience in a relationship with a pornography addict feel like an emotional rollercoaster.

When you join with me, I will guide you carefully through the process of Couples Recovery.

Obsessive thoughts and resentment toward our partner make the couples recovery journey feel hopeless and stuck.

I am here to walk the steps of recovery with you and your partner. As a Certified Sexual Addiction Specialist, I can provide you with a map to set boundaries with addictive behavior and with each other.

You are not alone. I can connect you to support groups, sponsors, couples counseling, reading material, and individual counseling resources to unpack the emotional roots of obsessive behaviors that tear you apart from the person you love most.

Making promises to change on our own doesn’t work.

You need skilled support to do the challenging but rewarding work of healing. Working with an experienced addiction therapist, I will help you focus on truly understanding yourself, healing childhood wounds, and bringing balance and self-acceptance into your life fully.

Showing up for your life and your relationship requires a willingness to be your AUTHENTIC SELF. Being your authentic self is the greatest gift you can bring to your partner.

I can figure this out on my own… A Myth!

You’ve tried to stop. You have tried and failed to control your amount of sexual activity.

You’ve seen a counselor. You’ve seen a pastor. You’ve considered an Addiction Group.

Managing your addiction alone is like a struggling swimmer who wants to be their own lifeguard. You can’t save yourself when you are in the process of drowning.

How many times has your addiction caused you to abandon your value system?

Do you resort to pornography or other sexual activities to escape from your problems, to relieve anxiety, or to cope with stress?

Are you tired of always having to lie and living a double life?

I can help you get your life back on track.

Sex Addiction is Real

While some may struggle with the term “addiction,” it is essential to realize that there are varying degrees of compulsive sexual behavior – from problematic behaviors to serious addiction.

So, let’s start with a practical definition: if you cannot control when you start or stop a behavior, even when that behavior is causing problems for you or those close to you, then you may be addicted.

In the end, the terms used aren’t the most important thing – what’s critical is determining how serious the problem is and finding out how to overcome it.

Warm, relatable, and caring meets professional and effective therapist…

Hello Friend, I want to share what I’ve learned in my own healing journey. You can’t find what you need to heal – “out there.”

I am confident that everything you need to have a happy, balanced, and successful life is inside of you, waiting to be discovered. I am an unapologetic enthusiast and cheerleader for you. I believe you are worthy and deserving of love right now, as you are.

Our early work will be a blend of Narrative Therapy – examining the story that you tell yourself about YOU. Together, we will get a clear understanding of your thoughts and core beliefs about yourself and the world around you; this is based on Cognitive-Behavioral Theory.

Therapy Journaling is a great way to gather knowledge about yourself. I recommend journaling to every client.

The results I get back from clients have been astounding. Clients who have become experts at shutting down feelings and silencing their lips get to direct the dialogue when they write. This is very important. Writing and recording your story is proof that you have a voice and something meaningful to say. You need to connect with that inner voice.

We will focus on Dr. Patrick Carnes’ 30 Task Model for Addiction Recovery. Both Partners and Addicts have a Task Model Designed for your unique journey to healing. It has been humbling and exciting watching my clients transform their lives and answer their most perplexing relationship questions.

With consistent counseling and a strong desire to change their lives, my clients are accessing strength and wisdom they never knew they possessed. They are my heroes.

I can’t wait to start working with you.

I know the searching process has you feeling anxious, vulnerable, even mistrustful that I can help you.

Let me set your concerns at ease with a brief, friendly consultation call. I like to approach new clients like we are already good friends, someone who already cares about you. I want to see you succeed!

Call me so we can begin writing the rest of your life story: (615) 905-1893. There are so many good things ahead for you. Let’s do this together.

*Names changed to preserve client confidentiality.