Family Therapy

Is your family going through a rough patch?

Angry, detached teenagers…

Kids getting reports from school for behavior issues…

Children whose emotional whims are running the home…

A marriage that feels faded, tired, and distant…

Regardless of who is misbehaving right now, the entire family is affected, and home life feels out of control.

As a parent, do you feel that your wants and needs always come last?

Margo* and James* have always enjoyed their freedom and spontaneity.

After children, they feel that marriage can always wait – the kids’ needs seem to have never-ending priorities. As the kids get older, they are used to mom handling things her way and dad handling things his way.

Instead of becoming more independent, their demands have grown in size and scope. We try to accommodate each person’s wants, and they seem to want more.

Also, am I really doing laundry for a 16-year-old? Am I the barking parent threatening to cancel all family fun because of a messy room? When did I become THAT parent?

It would feel less upsetting if my family were happy with me, but we all seem to be tense and angry at each other.

Do you feel as though you’re drowning?

There’s always so much to do and not enough time or resources to do it.

Wake up for school. Power block. Zero period. Pet care. After School Activities. School supplies. Church responsibilities.

Life constantly feels out of balance and out of control. I feel like our family is a continuous roller coaster ride, and I want to get off.

Help!

Are you always plagued by the guilt that you could be doing more?

“I wasn’t ready for the guilt of being a parent… I felt guilty for feeling good, for feeling bad, and for feeling nothing… No matter how hard you try to be a good parent, you always know deep down you could do more.”
– Jim Gaffigan, Dad Is Fat

Do you feel depressed… that you’re unraveling?

I feel like a failure when I look at my exhausted marriage. I feel inadequate when my kids ask me for more than I can afford to give them. I feel helpless watching my parents fight. I feel confused when I read articles about a more sensitive approach to my family.

So, I open my phone, turn on the TV, or fire up the iPad. Here, online – I witness a sensationalized concept of the ideal family. Even the dysfunctional families on television seem to tie up loose ends by the end of each episode. Instagram seems like a parade of happy families with parents who have it all figured out. Even my close friends doing a #familyshoutout send waves of resentment through me.

What am I missing? Why can’t I get it “right” for my family? Why are we struggling, and how do we get back to loving each other and having fun?

“My most important parenting job is to teach my children how to deal with being human. There is only one way to deal gracefully with being human, and that is: forgive yourself. It’s not a once-and-for-all thing, self-forgiveness.”
– Glennon Melton Doyle, Love Warrior

Families are a unique ecosystem…

So, issues affecting one member of a family can reverberate and affect the whole unit.

“When we love our partner well, we offer a blueprint for a loving relationship to our children and their partners. Better relationships between love partners are not just a personal preference; they are a social good. Better love relationships mean better families. And better, more loving families mean better, more responsive communities.
– Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love